Filming for Dummies
by penelope lemon
Summary: Follow the film crew as they document the lives of people working at Dunder Mifflin. All your favorite characters, plus a few extras.


**Filming for Dummies **

**by penitentiary bound**

**First Day**

* * *

I pursed my lips and stared through the windshield of my little car. Across the parking lot stood a man, about mid-thirties, with a cigarette between his index and middle fingers. He leaned against a white van, looking around.

I looked down at my hands that were still on the steering wheel, though the engine wasn't running. I was very productive with my time, obviously. For some reason, I just couldn't make myself move. A few weeks ago my professor came to me with an internship opportunity I could not turn down. A few producers were looking for a film crew to document the every day lives of office workers. After pulling a few strings and a couple of interviews later, they found a willing participant: a paper company by the name of Dunder Mifflin. Apparently the workers were a very _diverse _and _interesting _group, as they described, just the people they were looking for. That's where I came in; a spirited, energetic college student, eager to make her mark on the world. They called me onto the two-man crew, to film the company and it's workers for a month, sort of like a demo reel. They'd air the film after some editing and if people liked it, then we'd come back and continue filming. If not, the project would shut down and I would move on with my life. Either way I didn't get paid, so I couldn't complain.

So, was I nervous? To say the least. That was the reason I hadn't moved from my car since pulling into the Dunder Mifflin parking lot. If this documentary took off like we all hoped, then this could be my brig break. I wanted to do my job well, I wanted this to be good for me.

I took a deep breath and opened my car door, making my way across the parking lot. I tried to look confident, like I did this kind of thing all the time, but I'm pretty sure I was just making a face between a painful grimace and looking like I was constipated. How graceful. I walked up to the man. When he saw me, he tossed his cigarette and opened his van door, beginning to pull out equipment.

"About time," he said lightly, handing me a tripod, "I was beginning to think you glued yourself to the drivers seat."

I took the tripod and laughed at his joke, grateful for the distraction from my nerves. When I saw the look on the mans face, however, I stopped. He was not smiling, just studying me carefully, looking like he thought I was deranged. I cleared my throat awkwardly and he resumed unloading the van.

"You must be Jon Collins then?" I asked as he pulled a camera from the van and set it down before closing the door. All together, we had a camera, tripod, boom microphone and a black case that held individual microphone for the workers, to help improve voice inflection. There was more gear in the van, but I guessed that we would just start out with the basics today.

Jon nodded, "And that makes you Matilda Reynolds?"

I cringed at the use of my full name, "You can just call me Tiliie."

Jon nodded and we shook hands before he turned to the equipment, "How old are you anyways?"

"Twenty two," I replied.

I saw the edge of Jon's mouth twitch and he frowned, nodding. Yes, I was young. I'm sure he was thinking that I was to young to be working this kind of job while still in college, but like I said, I was determined to prove myself. Once he saw what I could do, he'd be grateful I was put on the team, I just knew it. Jon picked up the camera with one hand and in the other he lifted the boom mic, indicating to the rest of the gear before heading towards the office doors. I scrambled to pick up the black case and tripod, jogging through the glass doors as Jon held them open for me.

"This way," he said and headed for a stair well. I followed him up three flights of stairs, which in itself, is not exactly a daunting task, but with the heavy filming equipment I was panting by the time we reached our floor. Jon didn't say anything on the way up and I was actually grateful for it. If we had been making small talk, I fear I would have passed out.

"Alright," I said, gasping, "Next time, I vote we take the elevator," I joked, glancing at Jon. I had been hoping for a response from him, a smile or chuckle or anything, but he just looked at me before opening another door. Damn.

We stepped into a large and spacious floor, greeted by a curly haired woman at the receptionist desk. A wide smile crossed her lips as we stepped further into the office. There were a few desks in the center and some cubicles near the back. Across the floor I saw another door that lead to the break room and bathrooms, and just off to the side was a conference room. The room was large but everyones desks, shelves and filling cabinets were so cluttered with papers and personal items, it made everything look cramped and crowded. Still, I liked the messy, unkept quaintness of the office.

"You must be the film crew, here to document?" the receptionist asked.

No, we just carried around filming equipment for fun. Try it some time, I promise you'll have the time of your life.

"Yes ma'am," Jon said, offering his hand over the circular desk, "I'm Jon Collins and this is Tillie Reynolds."

"Hi," I said and smiled at the receptionist as I shook her hand. She smiled at me and I instantly liked her. She had a warm feeling to her, kind, with a face you could just trust.

"I'm Pam," she said, "Welcome to the office."

"Hey!" came a voice from behind us. I turned to see an older man with dark hair appear from the office. I guessed that this was Michael Scott, the regional manager. He walked towards us and hooked his arm around Jon's neck, pulling the camera man down to his level, "Noogie! Noogie! Noogie!" Michael chanted as he raked his knuckles over Jon's head. It was a funny sight, Jon's tall and lanky body bend over in comparison to Michael's stocky build, except for the fact that we had barley exchanged two words between the three of us. I glanced around the office. Most everyone went about their business like this kind of thing happened all the time, which, quite truthfully, scared me; some looked amused at Jon's predicament. When I turned back to Michael and Jon, Jon had finally wrestled his way free of Michael's grasp and was readjusting his tie and white shirt. He looked both puzzled and slightly annoyed.

"The film crew I presume?" Michael asked, stepping back, his voice growing sing-songy near the end of his question. Jon and I both nodded again as Michael turned to the rest of the workers, "Attention!" he called, clapping his hands together, "Dunder Mifflin-ites, we have some very special guests with us. Please welcome the film crew that will be tailing us for the next month," Michael then turned to Jon, "You dirty stalkers!" he teased in Jon's face then laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. No one laughed, thankfully, and Jon just looked a me. I could have sworn I saw him begging for help. Or duct tape and a rope for Michael.

"Yeah, okay," Jon said, turning to the rest of the workers and raising his hand in greeting, "Hey guys. I'm Jon Collins and this is Tillie Reynolds. We'll be filming for the next month but all you need to-"

"Your name is Tillie?"

I turned to the person who had interrupted Jon. It was a man in a grey-blue short sleeved shirt and glasses. His hair was short and parted down the middle and he looked at me with beady, scrutinizing eyes. I pursed my lips and nodded, "Yup, it's short for Matilda."

"Nonsense," he said, "Tillie is a name you would give a rabbit."

"Uh..." I said. Oh yeah, my vocabulary was spot on. I was definitely on top of my game today. Can you blame me though? His statement kind of threw me for a loop and I wasn't exactly sure how to answer it.

"You know, that's a lot coming from someone named _Dwight_."

I glanced at the man who had snapped at Dwight, the name plate on his desk read Jim Halpert. He looked up at me and smiled.

"I think the name is very pretty," a woman called from her desk. She was heavier, with red lipstick and glasses. I smiled at her, grateful for her compliment.

"Well, Phyllis, no one cares what you think," Michael said. His comment quieted the rest of the office and an awkward silence settled over everyone. The woman named Phyllis looked a little hurt.

Jon cleared his throat, "As I was saying, all you guys need to do is go about the day like we're not even here. It might be a little weird the first few days while we straighten everything out but after that it should all run pretty smoothly. Questions?"

No one said anything so Jon continued, "Great. I think we'll get a few shots of Michael introducing the company for the viewers-"

"If you have any," Dwight stated matter-of-factly. So, the workers knew about the pass or fail documentary. Awesome.

"God! Dwight!" Michael snapped, annoyed by Dwight interruption, "What are you-? Could you just-?" he asked, evidently having a hard time finding the right words and so settling on a very over dramatic sigh to express his feelings.

Luckily, Jon raised his voice to continue, "And then you guys can just get on with your work and we'll stay out of your hair."

Jon sighed and glanced at me, shaking his head. He took the tripod from me, then the black case. From it he pulled the mini microphones and showed everyone how to use them while I set the gear by the entry to the floor. Michael had quite an immature laugh while Jon tried to adjust the microphone on the back of his belt. After that, I grabbed the boom mic and Jon lifted the camera onto his shoulder and we followed Michael into the hall. He adjusted himself by the blue sign that read 'Dunder Mifflin Paper Company' while Jon turned on the camera the zoomed in on Michael's face. I raised the boom mic and Michael started introducing the company.

"...I've been at Dunder Mifflin for 12 years, the last four as Regional Manager. If you want to come through here, we have the entire floor. So this is my kingdom, as far as the eye can see."

And so we followed Michael into the office as he introduced the paper distributing firm, this time with the camera and mics on. I quickly began to see why this particular company, and branch, was chosen. There were some very unique personalities working in the office. I quickly got to know everyone. Pam was sweet, just like I had guessed, and was good friends with Jim. She was soft spoken, but a hard worker. Jim, who was an unmotivated sales person, got through his day by pestering Dwight who threw out insults in retaliation. They were definitely the most fun to watch. Phyllis and Stanley worked next to each other; as did a woman named Angela, a large man by the name of Kevin and a man named Ocsar. We introduced ourselves to Toby Flenderson, the Human Recourses Representative and a talkative girl named Kelly. The rest of the workers steered clear of Jon and I, I think because they weren't sure how to handle the camera. In time they'd get use to them.

Within a few hours of filming, a woman named Jan Levinson-Gould came in to set up a meeting with Michael, in which Pam was present. The meeting was rather interesting. It started off with Michael getting in trouble for "filing" his agenda into the waste bin and somewhere in the meeting, Jan mentioned that they were downsizing. Michael did not take well to this.

About halfway through the day, a young man joined the office assembly. He was just between mine and Jon's height, with black hair and a blue button down shirt. His name was Ryan Howard, and Michael introduced him to the camera as the company's new temp worker.

"Ryan Howard from the temp agency. They sent me down to start today," Ryan introduced as he shook Michael's hand. He then looked at me and the boom mic in my hand. I smiled at him and he gave a half smile back, glancing at Jon and his camera.

"Howard?" Michael asked, "Like, Moe Howard. The Three Stooges," he added, glancing at the camera like he'd get a reaction out of the intimate object.

Ryan nodded, "Yup."

"Watch this. This is Moe," Michael said as he began to impersonate the character, "Nyuck-nyuck-nyuck-nyuck-nyuck! Meee!"

How do I put it gently...it was a bloody mess of an impression. When Michael realized that no one was laughing at his joke, he began to panic, "Ah, right here. Three Stooges. It's supposed to be Moe. Oh, Pam," Michael added when he noticed the secretary looking at him, Jon turning the camera to get a shot of Pam before turning it back on Michael, "It's a guy thing, Pam. You wouldn't understand," Michael turned back to Ryan and added, "I'm sort of a student of comedy. Watch this, I do a great impersonation of Hitler," and with that he went off again with another horrible impression.

"Oh Lord," I mumbled and actually put my head in my hand. It was painful to watch.

Next to me, Jon snorted with a repressed laugh. For a second I thought that I had imagined it. I mean, Jon? Laughing like that? He had barley smiled since I met him out in the parking lot this morning. It was obvious that he was more of the serious type, so to get a laugh, even one like that, from him was an accomplishment on anyones scale. Score one for the college intern! I grinned.

Ryan turned to me and Jon during Michael's Hitler imitation and asked, "Should I be scared?"

Jon and I both nodded in unison.

Not much happened after that, with the exception of Jim and Dwight having a battle over desk space. After Dwight pushed all of Jim's papers around, Jim set up a pencil fence, which Dwight crushed with his phone. It was very amusing to watch.

Michael introduced Ryan to Jim and Dwight. I hadn't really been paying attention until Dwight loudly exclaimed, "Damn it! Jim!"

"Okay. Hold on, hold on," Michael said, trying to sooth over the tension that was quickly building in Dwight, "The judge is in session, what's going on here?"

"He put my stuff in Jell-O again!" Dwight snapped, pulling out a stapler that was incased in yellow Jell-O. I tried to keep my face straight, but, let's face it, it was pretty funny.

Dwight angrily tried to dig out his stapler, telling Michael that Jim needed to be reprimanded.

"How'd you know it was me?" Jim asked, while very suspiciously eating Jell-O himself.

"It's always you. Are you going to discipline him or not Michael?" Dwight replied.

"Alright, Jim, you need to stop putting Dwight's personal effect in Jello-O," Michael finally said.

"Okay," Jim said, leaning forwards seriously and setting his Jell-O down on his desk, "Dwight, I'm sorry. It's just that, I've always been your greatest flan."

That one got a snicker out of me, as well as Ryan and Michael. Dwight seemed very annoyed and I couldn't tell if Jon found it funny or not.

"Oh, nice!" Michael said to Jim, turning to Ryan, "That's the way it's done around here. It all kind of goes around then comes around."

Ryan stuck his hands in his pockets, "I see, but I really think you should've put him into custardy," he teased, indicated to Jim.

His comment started another round of giggles from Michael, Jim and I.

Near the end of the work day, Jon indicated with his head and we made our way to the back of the work room. He held open the door for me and and we slipped inside, Jon taking the camera off his shoulder and setting it down on the table. I set the boom mic down as well and rubbed my shoulders. My arms were sore from carrying the microphone around all day, making sure I got it low enough to hear the sales people but high enough so it wouldn't get in any shots. I had experience in all areas of filming so I knew how to handle the boom mic but I hoped that it wasn't permanent; I wanted to get my hands on a camera.

Jon leaned back on the table and looked at me, crossing his arms, "So, what do you think?"

I shrugged, "I think we got some good shots. They're an interesting group, that's for sure, but I think that we can have some real fun with this."

"Think we'll be able to get it on the air and get some viewers?"

"Definitely," I said.

Jon nodded, "Alright. I think we'll set up the camera in the conference room with the tripod and get a few interviews before everyone goes home for the night, okay?"

I nodded and picked up the boom mic again, Jon grabbing the camera. We went ahead and set up in the conference room then brought in the workers one by one. We pulled up chairs and I asked the questions; things like, what they they though about downsizing, if they were worried and how they liked working a Dunder Mifflin.

Dwight was the first we interviewed. Of course. I asked him what he thought about the possibility of the branch being downsized...and he completely ignored my question. Instead, he was looking at the boom mic above his head. He reached up and fingered it.

"Can you leave that? Is that alright?" I asked and Dwight ignored me so I tried another question, "Can you make that work?"

"That's fine," Dwight said, but he went head and moved the mic in front of him. I couldn't tell if he was trying to help out or if he was just being annoying. Beside me, Jon rubbed at his face tiredly.

"Nope, you don't...That's fine, we'll keep it," I said and tried to move it back while Dwight moved it the other direction. It was like we were having a mini Tug-O-War with the boom mic.

"It makes me nervous."

"Understandable," I replied, "But we need it in order to capture everything you say."

"I know. It's in a blind spot. I know that because I'm train in several martial arts and one of them includes awareness of anything on all sides of you. This is directly in a blind spot so I am trained to respond negatively to something right above my head. This," Dwight took the boom mic in his hand again and I wrestled it from him again, "I now have my eye on. You see, it's in my periphery and if I need to block it, stop it, attack it, I could come right out and do so."

Was this guy for real? I looked at Jon who still had his face in his hands. Neither of us knew what to say to Dwight's comment so we sat in silence for a few minutes.

I tried again, "What do you think about the possibility of the branch downsizing?"

"Downsizing?" Dwight repeated, moving on, "I have no problem with that. I've been recommending downsizing since I first started. Even brought it up in my interview," here, Dwight turned to the camera face on, looking very serious, "I say, bring it on."

Jon and I were silent again. What do you say to that? I looked sideway at Jon, whose face was passive, if not slightly confused. I'm sure I wore a similar expression.

"If I left, what would I do with all this useless information in my head?" Jim was next in the hot seat, with the same question, "You know? Tonnage price of manila folders? Pam's favorite flavor of yogurt? Which is mixed berry by the way."

We entered Michael's office to interview the regional manager after going through the sales people. I didn't even have to open my mouth and prompt some answers from him, he just went ahead and started talking...and didn't stop.

"People say I'm the best boss. They go, 'God, we've never worked in a place like this. You're hilarious, and you get the best out of us,'" Michael was saying. He reached over and picked up a mug from his desk and held it up. On it, in black lettering, it read 'Worlds Best Boss.'

"Um, I think that pretty much sums it up...I found it at Spencer Gifts," Michael added.

After we finally escaped Michael before he talked us to death, half of the office workers had already left. The camera was back up on Jon's shoulder as he panned around the office, focusing on Pam and Jim, who were talking over by the receptionist area. Jim was trying to ask Pam if she'd like to go out for a drink, but a honk from a car stopped him mid-sentence. Pam apologized, said a friendly goodbye to Jim, as well as Jon and I, before slipping out into the hall. I turned to Jim and gave him a sympathetic shrug. Jim looked at me thoughtfully, his eyes flickering to the camera for a couple of seconds.

"Come here," Jim said and opened a drawer in his desk, "Watch this," he added as he pulled out another Jell-O incased object. For a second, I thought it was another one of Dwight's things, until Jim made his way into Michael's office. Jon moved to the window that looked into the office and zoomed in to watch Jim set Michael's Worlds Best Boss coffee mug on his desk, covered in Jello-O. I laughed as Jim grinned, walking back out and grabbing his coat. Jon finally shut off the camera for good and helped me pick up the gear while Jim grabbed his bag and the three of us made our way out to the parking lot, this time via the elevator.

"Is it like that every day?" I asked Jim.

He shrugged and hit the main floor button, "Not all days. Michael usually has a lot more sexual innuendoes. I think corporate called him before you guys came and asked him to behave himself though," Jim looked at me and Jon, "It'll never last."

I grinned as the doors to the elevator slid opened and we stepped out.

"So, uh, how do you think this whole documentary this will go?" Jim asked.

I looked at Jon, who looked back at me.

"I think it'll be good, really good," Jon said, "Especially with a boss like yours."

Jim chuckled and sighed, "Yeah, there's really no one else quite like Michael. He's like a ten year old trapped inside a grown mans body. I see you guys later," Jim added, "'Night Jon, 'night Tillie."

"Good night," Jon and I said in unison and watched Jim drive off.

Jon turned to me and slid open the van door and we loaded up all the gear, "Well, a pretty good day, don't you think?" Jon asked and I nodded, "I think we need to get another camera in there, which means that we'll have to bring on a third person to work the mic."

I raised my eyebrow, looking at Jon. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

"Dose this mean I get to work a camera?" I asked.

Jon just shrugged and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it up, "I just think that with everything going on, it'd be a good idea to have two videographers on the job."

I couldn't stop myself from grinning. I knew that eventually I would get to film, but not right off the bat like this. Jon watched me stand there. I'm sure he thought I was on the brink of crazy, as I stood grinning like a complete dolt, and imaging in myself filming our project.

He raised and eyebrow, "Okay..." he said, shutting the door and taking a drag on his cigarette, "I'll talk to the producers and see if we can't get a camera for you, alright?"

"Yes!" I finally cried out, surprising both myself and Jon. I could have hugged him, but something told me that Jon wasn't much of a touchy-feely kind of person, "Thank you! That would be fantastic Jon."

"I'll see what I can do. See you tomorrow, okay?" Jon said.

I nodded happily, "Of course. Good bye Jon."

"See you later Tillie," Jon said and I waved good by as he climbed into the drivers side of the van and I made my way to my car, starting the engine.

I didn't drive off to quickly though. Instead, I glanced around the Dunder Mifflin parking lot. The nerves that had racked me earlier today had just melted away. I was confident that this would work out; the documentary would be a hit. With everyone in the office, there was no way we could fail. With a smile on my face, I put the car into gear and finally exited the lot. Oh yes, this was going to be good.

* * *

**Authors Note: Thank you ver much for stopping by my fanfic! If you enjoyed it, please leave a review! They are oh-so helpful and I love reading them. I'm not sure if I'll just keep this as a one shot or continue it so please please let me know if you'd like to see more. Perhaps a favorite episode of yours?**

**What do you think of Jon and Tillie? Also, the part where Dwight talks about his martial arts was actually in the original script, then taken out, so I decided to add it in. Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks everyone! :)**


End file.
